I'm trying, I swear

I’m lying on the floor
Talking to god again
First time since I don’t know when
But I’ve been such a mess
Figure I’ll give it a chance
Ask a favor of the big man
See if I can get a glimpse of the plan

Oh, I’m working hard, or so I’ll claim
Drinking too much to numb the pain
It doesn’t work all that well
And the choices I make will get me sent to hell
But I’m trying, I swear

I don’t know who I am
Can’t find myself, even in the mirror
Strangers call me by my name
Who are they? Should I care?
My shadow follows me everywhere
It’s growing bigger and I’m scared

I’m all alone, I guess that’s fine
But if he wants to come home
I won’t waste any time
Wake up in the morning with my regrets
All my close friends are taking bets
To see who I take home next

Oh, I’m working hard, or so I’ll claim
Drinking too much to numb the pain
It’s doesn’t work all that well
And the choices I make will get me sent to hell
But I’m trying, I swear

I binge watch television
Sleep for days
Eat all the food in my kitchen
I don’t pick up my phone for weeks
No missed calls, oh…I see
That’s okay, I’ll drink that away
Say it’s fine, say it’s fine

Oh, I’m working hard, or so I’ll claim
Drinking too much to numb the pain
It’s doesn’t work all that well
And the choices I make will get me sent to hell
But I’m trying, I swear

I’m lying on the floor
Talking to myself I guess
And I guess that’s fine in the end
I wouldn’t want to make promises
Now I know I should go to bed
But I think I’ll go away instead